“Long distance relationships never work.” I’m sure you’ve heard someone say this before at least once. Maybe you were the one who said it. Once upon a time, I was the one who was saying that. However, just because everyone seems to be saying that they don’t work, doesn’t mean that it’s true. Long distance relationships can work, and they can be great.
I know this because I’m in one and I couldn’t imagine breaking up just because we were 100… or 1000 miles apart.
When I first got to college, I actually made friends with a lot of girls who were in long distance relationships with their high school boyfriends. At first, it seemed pretty ridiculous. College is supposed to be the four years of your life where you’re supposed to let loose, meet new people, and just have fun, right? How could you possibly have any fun in college when you have a boyfriend that goes to another school or lives in a different state? I watched some of my friends break up with their boyfriends, struggling with the distance, while everyone else seemed to be having fun, meeting new boys. I also had a few friends who somehow managed to make the long distance relationship work. Despite this, the idea of being in a long distance relationship seemed absurd to me for a long time, and then I met a guy who didn’t make it sound so insane.
My sophomore year I met a guy who actually lives two hours away from my school, which isn’t so bad, except that when I go home for winter and summer break, we’re 1000 miles apart. While the breaks are definitely challenging, we’ve been able to make it work. Living two hours apart at school isn’t the end of the world, in fact, we’re able to live our own separate lives, and that’s actually pretty nice. I don’t have to worry about balancing spending time with my boyfriend, friends, and doing school work during the week because it just isn’t an option to see him. Because of this, I’ve been able to maintain close relationships with my friends and keep my grades up. I’m by no means saying that having a boyfriend that goes to your school will make you lose your friends and make your GPA drop, but it’s definitely easier to manage if you both have separate lives.
A long-distance relationship definitely isn’t preferable, but think of the alternatives. If you meet someone that you’re very compatible with, but he lives a few hours away, would you rather just give up and find someone else?
Would you rather date another person just because they live closer to you? Before I met my boyfriend, I would have answered that question with a “yes.” The reason I would have chosen this is that I hadn’t met the right person. I hadn’t met someone that would make the distance worth it. Before I met him, I had never met a guy who thought that I was worth the distance. I didn’t realize that long distance was even possible because I just hadn’t met someone who not only put effort into making the distance work but makes me want to put the effort in as well. My parents were long distance in college and my mom once told me that you know you should try long distance when it becomes impossible to see yourself with anyone other than them.
Relationships aren’t always easy. There’s no such thing as a fairy tale romance. Couples have to overcome obstacles, but it’s by doing that they are able to grow in their relationship. Distance is an obstacle that shouldn’t scare you off if you’ve found someone that you want to be with. With enough effort, long distance relationships aren’t impossible at all.